Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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