Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
