there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
two words: eviction party
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize