If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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