Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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