The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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