I am puke
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
this hospital has no fireball
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize