Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
