Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
