listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
