thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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