Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
