now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
