I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So squirting runs in the family.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
