well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
