You made me cry and you don't even care
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
