If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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