worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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