I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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