You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
