You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I died a long time ago.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
