I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This girl is more easily done than said...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize