i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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