You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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