It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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