He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize