We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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