evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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