So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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