i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
