You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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