what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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