Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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