Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
