Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
