i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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