The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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