Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
