i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
