Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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