theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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