I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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