Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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