I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
