legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
