last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
