Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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