you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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