great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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