Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
