If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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