something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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