Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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