He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
