I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
