My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Come see our sink grown plant.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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