Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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