I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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