Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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